Random News

I’m kinda busy today shocking the shit out of my masochistic dog with my new invisible fence. He might be the first dog in the history of the company to warrant a refund… he’s just not getting it.  Or maybe he likes it. My salesperson told me that there is a four-prong collar option (as opposed to the two prong dealie he’s sporting right now) that we can try if necessary. I asked if we could strap it to the dog’s crotch. Who knew my dog and I are the perfect sadomasochistic couple!  

So listen, doll babies, I don’t have time to write about the fact that I just nominated my office for America’s Messiest Room on Oprah, or that I grossly undercooked a brisket for company last night and it was like serving saucy loafers, or that I then stuck it in my Crock Pot on low all night so at least we could eat something good today, and I burned that motherfucker! Burned it. In a Crock Pot. On low. Bet you didn’t realize I was so talented in the kitchen. 

But I did take a minute to answer some FAQs and post them for your edification, in between dog shocking and Crock Pot scrubbing. Don’t hate me because my life is so glamourous. 

Oh and one more thing. I accidentally stumbled across the coolest blog today! I signed up for Google Alerts to notify me of Internet activity about The Bearded Iris, and I must have done it wrong (go figure) because I get notified anytime anyone in the galaxy types the words bearded or iris or bearded iris. Annoying. But anywhooo…. I got a little notice that someone had listed the “… top 10 plants found in a punk rock garden!” and Miniature Dwarf Bearded Iris ‘punk’ is one of them. Then I looked at the name of the blog: “Kiss My Aster.” Wow! Sassy gardening humor! I couldn’t resist taking a little peek, and I’m SO GLAD I did, ya’ll. This blog is gorgeous and fun. I just love anything creative and different and ballsy. This gal has a great sense of design and wit. She describes herself as “a retired rock n’roll caterer (Think m&m sorter)” and calls her blog “Jedi-level Gardening…”  This is so worth the detour, gardening fan or not.  Check her out!