The Innocent

Allow me to introduce my family.  Please don’t hold it against them…it is really not their fault.  

The Gatekeeper

This is my husband, “The Gatekeeper.”  I am his domestic slave and he is my lawn boy.  I am the Lucy to his Ricardo…in other words, I am the fun one and he is my conscience.  But it’s a good arrangement.  He brings home his bacon, and I fry it up in my pan.  And we make really pretty babies, but you wouldn’t know that because I have to crop off their heads to protect them from the Axis of Evil.   

Nature Boy

Here’s the first born entitled white male of the brood.  He is SO kind and gentle and smart that I’m starting to think he was switched with my real baby in the hospital nursery.  

Klepto

She totally gets it from her Mama.  Make sure you frisk her before she leaves your house.  She has some seriously sticky fingers and likes to stash loot in her panties.  God help me when she is a teenager.  

Bucket Head

This is the baby.  Well, I guess he’s a toddler now, but he’ll always be my baby.  He just loves his little bucket. Wears it everywhere. Gotta pick my battles, you know.  And I truly enjoy giving the neighbors something to talk about.  

The Devil

Our dog.  Part Black Lab, part Cuisinart.  We “rescued” him from the Humane Society…but I totally get why his previous owners dumped him there in the first place.  He’s only three.  People keep telling me that labrador retrievers take a long time to calm down. But damn, how many dog years is “a long time?”