The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

If I were rich, I would buy this.

Fellow parents, do your children have boundless energy? Are you tired of shouting “Put that down/don’t touch that/quit jumping on that/how many times have I told you not to play ball in the house?!” Have you ever wished you could place your wild child in a giant plastic hamster ball and let them safely run themselves ragged?

Well have I got the product for you!

Ladies and Gentlemen, please allow me to present: Euro Bobble.

That’s right. I kid you not. You can pay cash money to have your child zipped into a giant plastic bubble. Unfortunately, it is only temporary as the carnies running the joint keep a strict 5 minute timer. But still. Best $7 (per kid) I ever spent. Ever.

We found this modern marvel at a mall called Discover Mills in Lawrenceville GA. Coincidentally, it is located just outside of an Airsoft shooting range.

Check out Mini-Me… she is so coordinated and strong that she could actually stand up in the damn thing and run like a rabid hamster on a mission.

Nature Boy wanted to try that too!

Ready…

Set…

DOH!

Actually, he preferred the “Crocodile Death Roll” move:

Followed by his signature stance: “The Hammock”:

It was almost as much fun to watch the spectators as it was to watch the kids. Check these two out. I’m imagining grandma over there thinking: “Aw hell no. That girl is crazy!” And the dude in the red shirt is catching it on his cell phone to prove to his friends at home that he actually once saw someone get up and run in one of those things.

… for about 2 seconds. Followed by:

“The Face Plant.”

But a safe face plant. As you can see, no children or bystanders were hurt in this process:

"That was SO awesome!"

 

Followed by:

 

“Please, can we do it again?!”

 

Naturally the answer was no.

 

"Aw, man."

 

To which I replied: “Oh Puh-lease/Don’t start/Just be thankful…” What kind of Euro-Device do they make to deal with that?

Yours truly,

-Iris

© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris

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4 comments on “If I were rich, I would buy this.

  1. Mama Cloud
    February 1, 2011

    OMG…I can’t wait to offer this as a reward for good old fashioned behavior…What great entertainment!!! I wanna pick your brain about the experience next time we’re together…Now post that after picture of the legos all ready…Love you Iris!!!

    • The Bearded Iris
      February 2, 2011

      Love you too, MF Mama! 😉

      Pick away. You know my brain is just a rotting carcass by the side of the road, waiting to picked, chewed, digested, and returned to the earth as scat.

  2. Jane
    February 2, 2011

    This sounds awesome! My boys sooooo need a cabin-fever distraction right now. (I’m here courtesy of Merrilymarylee!)

    • The Bearded Iris
      February 2, 2011

      Do it, girl. My kids were only in those things for 5 minutes and they both came out red faced and sweaty and cured of cabin fever, for sure!

      Thanks for stopping by. I loves me some Mary Lee!

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This entry was posted on January 31, 2011 by in funny (ha-ha) and tagged , , .
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