A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All
Today is my birthday.
This is me 47 years ago, when I was a baby:
Based on this photographic evidence,
here’s what I’m predicting I’ll look like in my golden years:
And that, my friends, brings me to my Just the Tip Tuesday tip of the week.
Always lie about your age.
I’m actually 41 today.
But I always tell people that I’m older,
so they will be dazzled by how well-preserved I am “for my age.”
I’ve been doing this for over a decade and it works like a charm.
Case in point: Betty White.
She’s not really 82.
That bitch lies like a rug.
She’s really in her fifties.
But she wouldn’t be nearly as hot as she is right now
if she told the truth about her age.
It’s a lot cheaper and less painful than plastic surgery.
© Copyright 2001, The Bearded Iris.
Hi, I'm Iris. I'm a suburban hostage with excessive facial hair and a penchant for boxed wine. Sometimes I feel like an invisible vessel for grandchildren and PTA donations. I take pictures of my dog's poop. Welcome to my blog.