The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Doggone Good Advice

In exactly 24 hours I’ll be reunited with my faithful friend Ike upon the completion of his 10 day quarantine. If I have a film crew with me (i.e., a child holding my iPhone), we will edit the reunion sequence to include a slow motion run toward each other followed by an obscene amount of licking and crotch sniffing (hopefully done by the dog and not by me), all to the tune of Reunited and it feels so good… by Peaches and Herb. It’s a wonder I’m not a famous director, really it is.

Ike, the alleged perp.

So for Just the Tip Tuesday, in honor of my canine companion and his extreme sacrifice to protect his family, I’d like to share something about dogs today. This is one of those things that gets forwarded over and over through email, so you may have seen it before. I printed it out years ago after one of the many dog lovers in my life forwarded it to me. I loved it then, I love it even more today. Even if you are not a dog lover, pay attention… this is full of life tips we can all enjoy. Sadly, I do not know who the original author is; if you do, please let me know so I can give proper credit.

Things We Can Learn from a Dog

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

4. When it’s in your best interest, always practice obedience.

5. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.

7. Run, romp, and play daily.

8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

9. Be loyal.

10. Never pretend to be something you’re not.

11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

14. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

17. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

18. No matter how often you are criticized, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.

Wagging with loyal anticipation,

-Iris

© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.

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12 comments on “Doggone Good Advice

  1. margo
    April 12, 2011

    That is all such good advice! Love it!

  2. allysgrandma
    April 12, 2011

    I must be PMSing, this brought tears to my eyes. Wait I just had a period, oh that’s right, I’m in menopause. Looking forward to reunion video. When I came home after six weeks in NC when Ally was born, we did take video of Landon’s greeting of me. It was a full 15 minutes of licking and jumping and happiness. And I was afraid he wouldn’t remember me!

  3. Deanne
    April 12, 2011

    Awww, so happy that Ike will be home soon. I also like the list. It’s full of good advice. I particularly liked this line:

    11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

    (editing 11. to add: “unless your owner is nekkid in the bathtub. Then please politely wait until said owner is dry and dressed.”)

    • The Bearded Iris
      April 12, 2011

      PERFECT editing, Deanne! Thanks for remembering my little nekkid wet mishap!

  4. Anniemae
    April 12, 2011

    Me AND my dogs are very good at #8 – Eat with gusto & enthusiasm.

    So good to know I excel in at least one thing. :0)

    ***I asked about Ike on Saturday when picking up my friend’s dog. They said he was fine and being a good boy but wouldn’t let me in the back to slip him the file I had hidden in a box of Milk Bones. Sorry…

  5. Yolanda
    April 12, 2011

    Always aspire to be the person your dog thinks you are…

  6. Rochelle
    April 12, 2011

    Yay so glad you’ll be seeing Ike soon! I think you should use a good Barry White song and play in slow motion. You know for all of us smart asses that will still be thinking nasty porno type thoughts while all the licking and crotch smelling is going on. Haha!

  7. Martha(MM)
    April 12, 2011

    So happy he has served his time!! 🙂

  8. oneshabbychick
    April 12, 2011

    Lovely. Love it. Sharing it with my doggie lovers. So glad Ike is coming home :-}

  9. Megan
    April 12, 2011

    Aww…I ‘m pretending that you wrote #18 just for me today. ❤

  10. Erin Branscom
    April 12, 2011

    So glad Ike is getting Paroled! His goods are enroute!

  11. Susan Struck
    April 12, 2011

    I’m not sure I should have read that. Our old dog died last year and we’ve been trying to NOT get another so we could travel more easily. Hmmmmm….

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