The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All


Welcome to The Bearded Iris: A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All.

Once upon a time, I thought I had the world by a string. Twenty years later… not so much, although there have been glimpses of greatness like that time I was on Oprah’s “Clean Up Your Messy House” Tour and the day I survived a snapping turtle attack. But for the most part, these days I’m more of an invisible vessel for providing grandchildren and PTA donations. So I write. This blog is pretty much the only place where I can complete a sentence without being asked to open a juice box or wipe a butt. (So quit asking me.) Writing keeps me semi-sane. And if I can make someone laugh or at least feel better about their life compared to mine, then I’ve done my good deed for the day.

One husband, three kids, one dog, one cat, one minivan… you just can’t get any more stereotypical than that. I’m coming to you live from the ‘burbs of Atlanta where the stay at home moms play to win. I am a practicing Cafeteria Catholic with a sincere love for Jesus and boxed wine.  A walking contradiction, I have been known to use the words “bible study” and “titty bar” in the same sentence.

It’s a long story…maybe you should start at the beginning.  Read my first post, Hello world!

But don’t stop there. Here are some of my all-time favorite posts… consider it a crash course:

Five Things I Really Hate

…and that’s how a ballsy woman scrapbooks.

Vajazzled Valentine Vulva Candies

The Space in Between

Piece of Cake

Bring Out Your Dead

Verbal Diarrhea

Just the Tip

Show Me the Money

Appliance Heaven

Thanks for stopping by!
Iris Beard, aka “The Bearded Iris”

The Bearded Lady

Bearded Lady image copyright by Michelle Knowlen 2008.

4 comments on “About

  1. Not Drowning Mother
    September 21, 2008

    Snap! We shall have to start a mutual appreciation society with a secret handshake and everything. I don’t know how I managed to come across your blog but I’m glad I did – you make me laugh!

  2. Emfine
    February 1, 2011

    Browsing Facebook on a random snow day in North Texas I see an advertisement on the side of the screen for The Bearded Iris. The picture is undeniably an old friend from The Ellis School. You are as funny as I remember. So nice to see you here. I look forward to reading more!

    • The Bearded Iris
      February 1, 2011

      Oh my gosh – Emily! What a great surprise! Thank you for recognizing me and reading my crazy ramblings. A snow day in North Texas, eh?! Hope it passes quickly for you, and/or that you have a good supply of wine.

      Wonderful to keep in touch with you! Such fond memories of our “crazy Diane” stake outs together! Remember?

      • Emfine
        February 1, 2011

        Oh do I remember! I remember a black and white herringbone coat that you “picked up” and I remember the terrible trouble I got in when my mother found out what we were doing – you do know that C.D. is the daughter of my grandmother’s friend. Well I have read more of your blog and I was laughing out loud. You are so freaking funny. I am really going to enjoy this. From now on I will post under an abbreviated name, but one that is identifiable – just wanted my full name there so you would know it was me. Can you believe my married name. Just had to cut the last name in half.

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