The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

How to Improve Your Health, Sex Life, and DMV Record SIMULTANEOUSLY

So I’m sitting there this morning, trying to enjoy my morning cup o’ joe and catch a few minutes of the news, when all of a sudden, I’m assaulted with … Continue reading

February 1, 2011 · 10 Comments

If I were rich, I would buy this.

Fellow parents, do your children have boundless energy? Are you tired of shouting “Put that down/don’t touch that/quit jumping on that/how many times have I told you not to play … Continue reading

January 31, 2011 · 4 Comments

… and then my show-and-tell fantasy was shattered.

When I saw the sign on Ms. Evelyn’s preschool door that it was Pet Week, I should have just walked away. But that was when the Mommy Guilt reared its … Continue reading

January 28, 2011 · 7 Comments

Verbal Diarrhea

No, I haven’t been trapped under something heavy, unfortunately, thanks for asking. My husband does need to lose a few pounds, it’s true, but he’s been steering clear of my … Continue reading

January 26, 2009 · 5 Comments

Piece of Cake

The other day was my daughter Klepto’s 6th Birthday. Pretty momentous day for a little girl… she had been looking forward to it for 364 days. The sweet little thing … Continue reading

November 16, 2008 · 8 Comments

Bring Out Your Dead!

Just because I’m married to an Italian-American does not mean I know how to properly dispose of a body.  But clearly I must seem like someone who can “take care … Continue reading

November 8, 2008 · 7 Comments

Cornhole

I had never heard of this “game” until Cub Scout Family Camp when one of the very very nice dads brought his Cornhole supplies to share with the group. So naturally, when I walked by and he asked me “if I wanted to play Cornhole” with him and his sons…I almost crapped my pants.

October 27, 2008 · 4 Comments

Motivation

When I’m lounging around in my boudoir slippers eating Bonbons and neglecting my household duties, I love to watch reality TV shows about cleaning and organizing one’s home. I justify … Continue reading

October 9, 2008 · 4 Comments

Just the Tip

Many of my readers have been asking me for parenting and housekeeping tips, since I clearly know a thing or two about both.  So to keep ya’ll happy, I am … Continue reading

September 23, 2008 · 3 Comments

Show Me the Money

If yesterday’s Wall Street blood bath has your panties all in a wad, don’t panic.  This does is not a “run on the Savings and Loan.”  Please leave George Bailey … Continue reading

September 16, 2008 · 3 Comments